“Hell n Back” is a song by British singer Bakar, released as a single from his EP “Will You Be My Yellow?” on August 15, 2019, through Black Butter Records. Initially gaining popularity as a sleeper hit in the United States in 2020, it achieved international chart success in 2023.
In this song, Bakar expresses gratitude to a lover who supports him all along the way, especially during low moments and tough times on his path to stardom. He believes he’s found real love, a stark contrast to his past relationships influenced by substances.
The song’s title, “Hell n Back,” shows appreciation to his soulmate for going through challenges with him, akin to going through hell, and expresses hope to “back” to a normal and happy life afterward.
In this analysis, we will dissect the lyrics of “Hell N Back” to unravel its deeper meaning.
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“Hell N Back” Lyrics Meaning
[Chorus]
Could you tell where my head was at when you found me?
Me and you went to hell and back just to find peace
Man, I thought I had everything, I was lonely
Now you’re my everything, now it’s on me
In the beginning, the singer asked his lover a deep question, singing, “Could you tell where my head was at when you found me? Me and you went to hell and back just to find peace.” What’s behind this question? Simply put, he’s expressing how she brought purpose to his life. Before meeting her, he felt lost and unsure of himself.
The next line, “Me and you went to hell and back just to find peace,” suggests that his girlfriend was willing to face challenges with him until they found peace in their lives.
The singer admits he was too arrogant before, thinking he was a successful pop singer who had it all. However, deep in his heart, he realized he was lonely, confessing, “Man, I thought I had everything, I was lonely.” The following line expresses how much his girlfriend meant to him. He sings, “Now you’re my everything, now it’s on me.” Now, he understands her importance and feels responsible for keeping their relationship.
[Verse 1]
I mixed a lot of love with a lot of drugs, then I found you
She liked petty crimes, she had green eyes like Mountain Dew
And where she go, I’ll never know, her friends bounced too
I guess it’s their loss ’cause they’ll never know what we’ll amount to
And would you be my light, be my yellow?
P.Y.T. walking down Portobello
Put a smile on this face at the end of the day
MDMA helped us fly away
Who’d have known, who’d have known you would save my life?
Who’d have known, who’d have known you would fly my kite?
Could you tell, could you tell?
Could you tell, could you tell?
(Could you tell, tell?)
In verse 1, the singer draws a comparison between life before and after meeting his girlfriend. In the line “I mixed a lot of love with a lot of drugs, then I found you,” he reveals a past filled with degraded romantic experiences and substance use.
In the next lines, he starts to describe how cute and sweet his lover is now. He says she likes “petty crimes,” meaning she loves playing some silly pranks like a little kid, and she has beautiful green eyes like “Mountain Dew,” a citrus-flavored soda with a sweet taste and a slight tartness. His girl is not submissive to him; she enjoys her own freedom, just like her friends. The singer sings, “And where she goes, I’ll never know; her friends bounced too.”
However, he still thinks they make a wonderful couple, and it’s the loss of those who don’t understand the potential their relationship has. He sings, “I guess it’s their loss ’cause they’ll never know what we’ll amount to.” With that in mind, the singer sings, “And would you be my light, be my yellow?” He hopes she can be his light, meaning someone who would support him through difficulties. “Be my yellow” is a popular hashtag on TikTok. One TikTok user summarized the meaning as “someone you can’t live without.” When you hear people saying they want a “yellow girl,” they’re saying they want a girl who’s full of life and positivity.
In the following lines, the singer continues to praise his girlfriend and express appreciation for the purpose and positive energy she brought into his life. He sings, “P.Y.T. walking down Portobello/Put a smile on this face at the end of the day.” The phrase “P.Y.T.” likely stands for “Pretty Young Thing,” a term popularized by Michael Jackson in his song of the same name.
From the line “MDMA helped us fly away,” it’s evident that he’s still using drugs even in this relationship. MDMA is a recreational drug known for its euphoric effects. The singer might mean he’s taking MDMA with his girl to experience a heightened sense of euphoria or connection.
In these lines, “Who’d have known, who’d have known you would save my life?/Who’d have known, who’d have known you would fly my kite?/Could you tell, could you tell?” the singer expresses gratitude for how his girlfriend has brought new life and lifted his spirits. The metaphor “Fly my kite” captures the joy, excitement, and lightness that the girl has introduced into the singer’s life.
[Verse 2]
I remember, I remember, I was all alone
Late night you would call my phone
Just to check if I was bless ’cause you knew I was low
Head gone, rollin’ off the throne
I remember, I remember, we was in the park
Late night, made love on the grass
Got my head in the clouds, countin’ all my stars
In my ears, said the world was ours
Went to hell and back just to heal my wounds
‘Cause it gets like that, wrong side of the moon
No Tutankhamun, you’re my Cleopatra
No side thing, don’t need a backup
Need a real one, don’t need an actor
Her last one was fake, think he won a BAFTA
Come and be my girl, yeah
In verse 2, the singer reflects on a time when he felt alone and received crucial support from his girlfriend. He sings, “I remember, I remember, I was all alone/Late night you would call my phone/Just to check if I was bless ’cause you knew I was low/Head gone, rollin’ off the throne.”
His girlfriend would call him late at night to make sure he was okay, especially when he was feeling low. As a pop singer, he experiences highs and lows with his popularity, and during this particular low moment, he felt lost—like he had fallen from a high position in the music industry. The term “throne” traditionally symbolizes a position of power, dominance, or high status.
In the next lines, the singer paints a picture of a supportive moment with his girlfriend. He sings, “I remember, I remember, we was in the park/Late night, made love on the grass/Got my head in the clouds, countin’ all my stars.” They were in a park at night, sharing intimate moments and enjoying each other’s company. During this time, his girlfriend uplifted his spirits, encouraging him in his musical pursuits and expressing confidence in his talent, believing he would find success. He sings, “In my ears, said the world was ours/Went to hell and back just to heal my wounds.” His girlfriend is willing to share his pain, essentially going through tough times with him to make him feel better.
The next line, “‘Cause it gets like that, wrong side of the moon,” carries a bit of mystery. It seems like the singer is expressing a sense of disconnect from the fame he dreamed of. The reference to the “wrong side” of the moon, not visible from Earth, suggests being in a hidden or unknown place, emphasizing a feeling of being out of touch with his aspirations for stardom.
At the moment, he doesn’t feel like a king anymore. He sings, “No Tutankhamun, you’re my Cleopatra.” While he’s no longer feeling like Tutankhamun, a famous pharaoh, his girlfriend still holds a noble status in his heart, reminiscent of Cleopatra, the beautiful Egyptian queen. The singer might be expressing gratitude to his girlfriend for not abandoning him, and he also hopes to regain stardom, becoming a “king” to his “Cleopatra.”
With unwavering faith in their love, the singer declares, “No side thing, don’t need a backup/Need a real one, don’t need an actor.” He desires a genuine connection without seeking alternatives, urging openness between them.
He criticizes his girlfriend’s ex-boyfriend for being fake, sarcastically noting, “Her last one was fake, think he won a BAFTA/Come and be my girl, yeah.” The mention of a BAFTA, The British Academy Film Awards, is a playful way to mock the ex-boyfriend’s pretentious character.
Deeper Meaning Behind “Hell N Back”
Bakar’s song “Hell N Back” delves into the healing power of love in a man’s life. Born and raised in North London’s Camden with diverse roots, Bakar’s music often mirrors his personal struggles. In this track, he bares his experience with substance reliance and loneliness before finding his soulmate. The video, directed by Aiden Cullen, features Bakar strolling on an empty beach in the early hours.
The title “Hell N Back,” on the surface, might simply convey the idea of someone who has weathered life’s lows and returned to normalcy after meeting a girl he loves.
However, the line “Went to hell and back just to heal my wounds” drops hints that it’s more profound. It’s about discovering genuine love, someone willing to endure hardships with you and believe in a man’s aspirations for success. In other words, she’s ready to go through hell with you to bring you back and uplift your spirit—the healing power of love that every man seeks.
Of course, love should be reciprocal. In the song, we see exactly that. The singer sees his lover as Cleopatra, clearly occupying a vital place in his heart.
Overall, as men, we all desire a partner who supports us along the way and can be frank with each other.
Jacob Carter is a lyricist. He created the lyrics writing course to teach people how to analyze and write lyrics. He graduated from the University of Oxford with a degree in English Literature, so he’s skilled at playing with words.
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